Tag Archives: duct tape

Some More Friday Fun with The Consort

Hello-hello, all.  The Consort here striding confidently mikeside in an effort to dazzle, or at least baffle, you.  The Princess has asked me to step in for the day while she attempts to run to ground a contest that is spinning wildly out of control on our sister site.  She’s handling that with her usual aplomb so I am pleased to share some Friday Fun today.  Before we get started let’s have a snack…

Courtesy Heart Attack Grill

This 8,000 calorie behemoth graces the menu of the Heart Attack Grill in Las Vegas.  You’ll find it listed as the “Quadruple Bypass Burger”.   I can hear my arteries shutting down even as I write these words.  The sandwich (and I use that term loosely) is made up of four half-pound beef patties, cheese, bacon, tomatoes and all the usual suspects.  Since this beast couldn’t possibly fill you up you also get a milkshake made with “the highest butterfat content” and a side of “Flatliner Fries” deep-fried in pure lard.  You know, they must use pure lard because they are concerned for your health.  The 8,000 calories are equal to about one week’s worth of meals for the average person.  I can hear what you’re saying: “Oh sure, I can just walk off the calories”.  Of course you can.  Walking one mile burns about 100 calories.  Do the math.  I would have liked to have had a comment from the Heart Attack Grill on this but, sadly, the spokesperson passed away in March.  Of a heart attack.

The Princess tells me she still hurts because she did not have a Barbie doll when she was young.  I know my sister had one and even had the Barbie Dream House.  But my sister’s Barbie dolls never had tattoos until my brother and I got hold of them.  Now, thanks to LA-based Tokodoki and Mattel, Barbie has her own ink.

Courtesy Tokidoki

For only $50 you get a tatted-up doll with pink bobbed hair, stacked bracelets and a dog named Bastardino.  Apparently the doll is targeting “adult collectors only” and that has me a bit unhinged.  This is not the first time Barbie has been sporting ink.  There have been two previous editions and this particular model is limited to a run of 7,400 dolls.  I guess you probably don’t want to miss this opportunity.  I know I won’t miss it; I likely won’t notice at all.

I’m a guy and I confess, like guys everywhere, I have used duct tape to make quick and dirty repairs.  That sticky stuff is part of every well-stocked tool kit.  Now it can be part of every tailgate party…

This is just a sampling of the variety of schools that are available.  Think of the uses… create your own fashions; wrap that annoying brother-in-law who insists on rooting for the other team; securing your adult beverage to your hand when your motor skills begin to flag; the list is limited only by your imagination.  Sound intriguing?  Check them out here for more details.  Just don’t blame me when the males in your house go all slack-jawed when they realize the potential here.

But my time is running short.  Please take good care of your waitperson because they’re working hard for you today.  The Princess will return Monday.  Thanks for sharing your time with me!  I’ll leave you with a little number by four fellows playing a little ditty you might hear this weekend at a sporting event.


Filed under Collaborations, Friday Fun, Posts by the Princess Consort, preppy, You Can't Make This Stuff Up