The Consort Is All Over This Fashion Thing

Hello-Hello, all.  The Consort skipping merrily mikeside to entertain you while The Lovely and Talented Princess gives back to the community.  Now that the Olympic Games are behind us we, as citizens of these United States, can go back to doing what we’ve done for years:  ignoring hockey.  Don’t get me wrong.  I love the game.  Any sport that sends élite athletes into a “time out” box when they’ve misbehaved must have something going for it.  But until hockey is televised in the USA on something other than a minor cable channel it is going to be an uphill struggle to build an audience.  I must add that the gold medal game between Canada and the USA was packed with sixty of the most heart stopping minutes I’ve enjoyed in sports in years.  But now we turn our attention to other matters of importance.  Like Fashion Week in Milan.

Green has always been one of my favorite colors and this creation from Krizia is… green.  I’m fascinated by the belt and boots.  Somewhere a fetishist is riveted by the photo.  The design is almost German Beerhall hostess gone preppy dominatrix.  Now that’s a combination you don’t see often.

You can’t go wrong with pink.  However, on anyone other than a size 2 this might look like an open parachute.  I’m a guy and kind of a linear thinker.  How does one sit gracefully in this dress?  When seated does it drape gently around the legs?  I can only hope so because the alternative is too frightening to consider.  The shoes?  Excellent!  The sabre purse is to die for.  The Princess happens to have some vintage purses in that style around the Prepatorium somewhere.  Time to move on…

Oh, my.   This poor young thing forgot to put on her dress.  You would think someone would have said something before she walked out in front of everybody.  Nice necklace, though.

Just the other day I mentioned to The Princess “I sure wish someone would update the burqa look” and now my wish has been granted.

This design from Meadham-Kirchhoff is sure to make the mullahs mad.  Or is it more an homage to Cher’s “Gypsies, Tramps and Thieves” period?  Quite frankly I’m a little confused about this but the black lace is giving me kind of a funny feeling, if you get my drift.

I’ve always been a big fan of shoulder pads in fashion.  Joan Crawford could pull off that look like a champion.  What would the 80’s have been without shoulder pads?  However, I’m not sure if adding swirls of fabric to the shoulders of this LBD is working for me.  Sometimes too much is just too much.  Structurally (and here’s a guy point of view) I’m not convinced this dress is capable of holding up to sudden rotations of the torso or strong trailing winds.

Enough of the dresses.  Let’s turn our limited attention span to footwear.

A suggestion.  When someone says they are going to walk the dog I recommend against impaling the poor beast on your foot.  These are wrong for so many reasons I don’t even know where to begin.

Photo by George Chinsee/WWD

I’ve always been a fan of Jimmy Choo.  Here’s a design that will appeal to the two-year old in all of us because it lights up when you walk.  Kind of like those cool little shoes that kids wear.  I love that.

Now I’m exhausted.  Combing through all the bad fashion shown at Milan takes a toll.  So I leave you today with reassurance that my lovely bride will return tomorrow.  Don’t forget to treat your waitperson right tonight because they’re working hard for you.  I’ll leave you with a little musical number from the widow Bono.  Good night, everybody!

Photo credits:  Krizia – Mauricio Miranda/WWD, Meadham Kirchhoff – Giovanni Giannoni/WWD, Hakan – Giovanni Giannoni/WWD