Hello-hello, all. The Consort boldly stepping mikeside to entertain you while The Princess enjoys quality time with The Queen Mother. Meanwhile, I beg your indulgence for a few moments as you ramp up your weekend festivities.
I’ve been watching this so-called “Cash For Clunkers” program with some interest. It seems like the perfect opportunity to upgrade the family transportation.
Sporty… sassy. No, we’re not talking about this car. The best thing about the Yugo was the heated back windows. Kept your hands warm when you were pushing the car during the winter months. Bombing the production factory during the Balkan War was not the negative it might first appear. So let’s get involved in this wonderful “Cash For Clunkers” program, shall we? Let’s go green and save the Earth. I’m thinking electric here…
Now the $100,000 price tag for the Tesla Roadster is a bit of a stretch but with my “CfC” money I should be golden. This little electric-powered beauty goes from 0-60 in four seconds. The Yugo does 0-60 in four days. I like the direction in which this is heading. But this snappy little two-seater doesn’t solve the “Tilly Transportation” problem. Perhaps I need to expand my vision.
Now we’re talking family transportation. Room in the back for Tilly to roam. Real wood panels. Captures the essence of Preppy Lifestyle. This would really look nice pulling into the Piggly Wiggly during our weekly shopping excursion. Perhaps with all the money I get for the Yugo I can get both the Woody for The Princess and a little something for me to sport around town.
I’ve always considered a Mercury to be a “grown-up” ride. Smooth, dignified, classy. Of course the bright red convertible conveys a subtle message, wouldn’t you agree? I’m not going to add the fuzzy dice hanging from the rear view mirror because that would be… well, too much.
All this is possible because of the governmental wonder that is the “Cash for Clunkers” program. I can hardly wait! What? Out of money? A government program going over budget? How can that be? Just go ahead and get more money! But am I too late? Are my dreams shattered?
Ah, life. It’s not always fair but it’s always entertaining.
Thanks for your careful attention these past few minutes. The Princess will be taking her usual place in your computer and I’ll return at some point in the future. Until we meet again remember to take care of your waitperson tonight; they’re working hard for you. Try the chipped beef on toast; it’s excellent. Now sit back and enjoy the unique stylings of four young fellows who might have a future in the music business.