Well, well, well. It would appear the Princess Consort has taken some liberties with our request that he “help out a little bit with the blog” whilst we deal with the holiday frenzy here at Princess HQ. He complied. Oh yes, indeedy.
In case this all comes as a bit of a mystery to anyone, we offer some of the backstory: the Consort crafted the “End Your Year With A Freebie & It’s Open Season On The Princess Consort” post and published it on Saturday, a day I mistakenly presumed would have low readership, a day least likely to draw attention to his post.
He then instructed readers that if they wanted to enter the Giveaway they needed to leave a comment asking the Consort a question. An entirely harmless little endeavor, oui?
In fact, how many ways can I spell W-R-O-N-G?????? You see, it isn’t the questions our cherished readers asked that pose the problem. Nay nay, it is the Consort’s answers to the questions that are so disturbing. I mean, this is up there with the summer our ‘neighbors’ at the lake rented their cottage to complete unknowns, can you imagine? Oh, you think I exaggerate? Let’s just look at a few examples, shall we? (Consort comments are in dark blue.)
Our dear and treasured Legally Blonde Ambition simply asks:
“Is there a Junior Royal Consort? Perhaps a Princess-in-waiting?”
“Sadly, it has been determined that I am not a role model for impressionable youth. Therefore, the US Congress has taken action (a move that will be denied by all involved) that bars me from reproducing.”
Gaze upon his answer to this simple inquiry from the always-so-nice BBoss and you will begin to grasp the horror.
“Do you have now or have you ever owned a tiara?”
“Your question has me a bit flummoxed. In all honesty I can say TPP has never, to my knowledge, owned a tiara. However, I own a modest tiara but only wear it on the weekends when TPP and I have our “special” dress-up nights. Discretion does not allow me to elaborate. Thank you for asking.”
OMG. How could he?!
Then Rambling Creativity innocently references the Consort’s comments on canine companionship:
“I think adopting a dog is a great idea but I doubt we would ever have a dog…I can barely get the hubs to pick up after himself!”
“Did you ever consider training a dog to pick up after your husband? It’s something to think about and training a dog is easier, by far, than training a husband.”
How rude is that?
And the divine I Pick Pretty was only looking for a suggestion, some help in her honest desire to locate the perfect gift for her dear Pug.
“Since today’s post seems to have something of an animal theme, what would be a good Christmas present for the discerning Pug who has everything?”
“It goes without saying that chew toys are too common. Those dreadful little sweaters are just that… dreadful. Animals should flaunt their nudity. Lord knows I do. But that’s another issue for another day. So where does this leave us? With one choice: contact lenses. I’ve seen the eyes on that breed. A good set of contact lenses will work wonders for your faithful little friend. It doesn’t matter if your Pug is male or female. Contact lenses will make your Pug the envy of the kennel or dog park. No more Marty Feldman impressions! No, sirree! Your Pug will be a canine sensation and the improved vision will do wonders for the dog’s self-image. Trust me on this one, my friend.”
Do you understand now? Do you comprehend the abject terror as I gaze at the plans for tomorrow’s League luncheon?
I am so ashamed.
And here is the cruelest cut: you must continue to comment with questions for the Consort, as that is the only way to enter the drawing for the tote.
Please forgive me.
I have always known he is incorrigible. That he is a loose cannon on a rolling deck.
He is my loose cannon. And he wrote this:
“Now to the question of TPP’s wedding dress. This is a topic that makes me smile as I remember seeing her at the end of the aisle in the church on our wedding day. She was radiant. I thought I loved her before; at that very moment I expected my heart would burst with happiness.”
And I love him so.
So go ahead.. let’s indulge his unique perspective: leave him more comments that “Question the Consort.” What’s the worst that can happen? (BTW, if possessed of a curious mind, a strong constitution and in a location free of impressionable young children, the majority of the questions/comments may be seen here.)