This is Clearly Out of Control: the Princess Consort Has Run Amok

Well, well, well.  It would appear the Princess Consort has taken some liberties with our request that he “help out a little bit with the blog” whilst we deal with the holiday frenzy here at Princess HQ.  He complied. Oh yes, indeedy.

In case this all comes as a bit of a mystery to anyone, we offer some of the backstory: the Consort crafted the “End Your Year With A Freebie & It’s Open Season On The Princess Consort” post and published it on Saturday, a day I mistakenly presumed would have low readership, a day least likely to draw attention to his post.

In his post The Consort included his silly little Cat on a Roomba video (fine, we can overlook his sense of humor) and mentioned our giveaway, a fabulous deep teal tote from the Preppy Princess.

PreppyPrincess.com

PreppyPrincess.com

He then instructed readers that if they wanted to enter the Giveaway they needed to leave a comment asking the Consort a question. An entirely harmless little endeavor, oui?

Non.

NON!

In fact, how many ways can I spell W-R-O-N-G?????? You see, it isn’t the questions our cherished readers asked that pose the problem. Nay nay, it is the Consort’s answers to the questions that are so disturbing. I mean, this is up there with the summer our ‘neighbors’ at the lake rented their cottage to complete unknowns, can you imagine? Oh, you think I exaggerate? Let’s just look at a few examples, shall we? (Consort comments are in dark blue.)

Our dear and treasured Legally Blonde Ambition simply asks:

“Is there a Junior Royal Consort? Perhaps a Princess-in-waiting?”

“Sadly, it has been determined that I am not a role model for impressionable youth. Therefore, the US Congress has taken action (a move that will be denied by all involved) that bars me from reproducing.”

Gaze upon his answer to this simple inquiry from the always-so-nice BBoss and you will begin to grasp the horror.

“Do you have now or have you ever owned a tiara?”

“Your question has me a bit flummoxed. In all honesty I can say TPP has never, to my knowledge, owned a tiara. However, I own a modest tiara but only wear it on the weekends when TPP and I have our “special” dress-up nights. Discretion does not allow me to elaborate. Thank you for asking.”

OMG. How could he?!

Then Rambling Creativity innocently references the Consort’s comments on canine companionship:

“I think adopting a dog is a great idea but I doubt we would ever have a dog…I can barely get the hubs to pick up after himself!”

“Did you ever consider training a dog to pick up after your husband? It’s something to think about and training a dog is easier, by far, than training a husband.”

How rude is that?

And the divine I Pick Pretty was only looking for a suggestion, some help in her honest desire to locate the perfect gift for her dear Pug.

“Since today’s post seems to have something of an animal theme, what would be a good Christmas present for the discerning Pug who has everything?”

“It goes without saying that chew toys are too common. Those dreadful little sweaters are just that… dreadful. Animals should flaunt their nudity. Lord knows I do. But that’s another issue for another day. So where does this leave us? With one choice: contact lenses. I’ve seen the eyes on that breed. A good set of contact lenses will work wonders for your faithful little friend. It doesn’t matter if your Pug is male or female. Contact lenses will make your Pug the envy of the kennel or dog park. No more Marty Feldman impressions! No, sirree! Your Pug will be a canine sensation and the improved vision will do wonders for the dog’s self-image. Trust me on this one, my friend.”

Do you understand now? Do you comprehend the abject terror as I gaze at the plans for tomorrow’s League luncheon?

I am so ashamed.

And here is the cruelest cut: you must continue to comment with questions for the Consort, as that is the only way to enter the drawing for the tote.

Please forgive me.

I have always known he is incorrigible. That he is a loose cannon on a rolling deck.

But….

He is my loose cannon. And he wrote this:

“Now to the question of TPP’s wedding dress. This is a topic that makes me smile as I remember seeing her at the end of the aisle in the church on our wedding day. She was radiant. I thought I loved her before; at that very moment I expected my heart would burst with happiness.”

And I love him so.

So go ahead.. let’s indulge his unique perspective: leave him more comments that “Question the Consort.” What’s the worst that can happen? (BTW, if possessed of a curious mind, a strong constitution and in a location free of impressionable young children, the majority of the questions/comments may be seen here.)

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15 Comments

Filed under preppy, preppy lifestyle, Preppy People, Updates

15 responses to “This is Clearly Out of Control: the Princess Consort Has Run Amok

  1. TCP

    Hee…it seems the Consort has a streak of the same kind of humor as Mr. TC. What can one do with these guys??

  2. Oh, Miss TCP – You are indeed a fortunate soul if your own Mr. TC shares my slightly skewed sense of humor. But you raise an interesting question. What can one do with someone as off-kilter as us? Some things come to mind: Laugh with him. He is able to view the world with all the faults and disappointments and still keep his ability to smile. Through his humor he is trying to lift your spirits by his willingness to be the jester. Second: Appreciate his sense of the absurd. To butcher a cliche: Some people see the world and ask “Why?” Mr. TC sees the world and asks “Are you out of your effin mind?” Those strange little moments are when Mr. TC shines. Lastly: Love him as fiercely as he loves you. If your mate can still make you smile and laugh through the years then you indeed have a special relationship. Thanks for the question and good luck in the drawing! That tote would look mighty snappy in the Loop!

  3. Oh goodness! I was laughing so hard.

    I can vouch for the tote! I do in fact own it 🙂 It is STELLAR! I had originally bought it as a gift, but I couldn’t give it up. So I had to buy that person something else instead.

  4. JM

    I think that your husband’s response to my question was quite humorous. I think we all know he meant everything in good fun. Actually, I hadn’t thought about a wine stopper but now that he mentioned it, that might actually be the last thing to perfectly complete my gift to my boyfriend’s mother. Thanks TPP and Mr. TPP:)

  5. great bags for the summer!

    love!

  6. This is TPP…NOT The Consort….

    Miss TCP, always good to know I don’t have the only one! (Heh-heh-heh.) You lucky girl!

    And Miss JM, not to worry, what I wrote was *totally* done in jest, it is not at all serious. I would never pick on the Consort, he is too wonderful!

    🙂

  7. Your husband is hilarious!

  8. Mr. and Mrs. Preppy, You are both so fabulous and enjoyable. I just love it! Hugs to you both!

  9. Bboss

    You both are a riot! You should go on the road (“I’ll be here all week! Try the veal!”).

    My question about the tiara was directed at the Princess herself, not her Consort. Really now, what type of freak do you think I am or think you are!

    Nice answer but it did make me blush!

  10. All taken in good fun, truly. My HRH Pug admittedly did look a bit forlorn that day, but I imagine it was only because he overheard me plotting festive Christmas Day outfits for him.

    Besides, I think most of us in possession of a husband understand . . . if I were to allow (trick) Mr. LBM into writing for me, it would likely contain so many *&*&$) sort of words so as to render my delicate, ladylike readers speechless. The hilarious Consort is quite proper in comparison!

  11. I think the Consort is a cutie-pie. And he promised to share a photo of Tilly (perhaps on Christmas morning?!).

  12. the princess consort is my new hero. must think of good question…

  13. WildChild Grammy

    the Consort OBVIOUSLY has some kitchen experience, suggesting such a tasty menu for my Christmas Eve dinner. So do I serve that orange Nehi in stemware, or ‘on the rocks’ and can it be heated to help with post bbq heartburn? I know Vernors has similar results as Tums when served hot. Do you think a cinnamon stick would add a festive touch? thank you for the encouragement. WCG

  14. My lovely WildChild Grammy – I am confused. What is this post bbq heartburn of which you speak? I do not believe such a thing is possible. The truest sign that one has overindulged while eating bbq is when one explodes. Anything up to that point is considered a normal repast. The beauty of serving orange Nehi is the versatility. It can be served in stemware but please limit your choice to champagne flutes. That way one can savor the unique bouquet of the orange Nehi. Serving over ice is risky. It is easy to bruise the Nehi and thus you will lose the delicate finish. Now to address your cinnamon stick question: If you are so inclined to add a cinnamon stick to your orange Nehi there is only one accepted procedure. Do not, under any circumstances, put the cinnamon stick in the Nehi. You must take a sip of Nehi, swirl it gently over your tastebuds and swallow. Immediately take a small bite of the cinnamon stick. You will experience a taste sensation unlike any you’ve ever had before. You will thank me later.

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