Well if it isn’t a delightful Monday, despite all efforts for it be otherwise! We hope everyone has settled back into their routines without too many hitches.
We start today with an amazing little book The Princess may just need to add to the library here at the Prepatorium. A friend brought it to our attention after seeing an item in the Post. We are talking about The Hamptons Dictionary: The Essential Guide to Class Warfare. The title alone elicits an immediate chuckle, if only because it is precisely the sort of thing that Daddy would ban from the house, sight unseen, word one unread. It is the sort of thing you just know is bad! It is wrong! It must be, just look at the title, what more do you need to know? And apparently the folks over at the Jitney would agree with Daddy, were he still with us.
Now for those not familiar with the Hampton Jitney (that is not a typo, no ‘s’ on the company’s name), it is a good way to transport oneself back and forth from the city to Long Island. The Ambassador Service the Jitney offers is one of the the best ways to get there (short of personal aircraft), roomier and more comfortable than the train, pretty good mobile wi-fi connection and your own power outlet.
You are now asking, exactly what does author Miles Jaffe say in the Dictionary that has executives at the Jitney so exorcised? The Jitney is referred to as a “cattle car.” In public relations lingo there is a practice called a ‘seat drop,’ where product samples, literature, other materials are dropped on seats for captive consumers to pick up and deal with, be they riding a bus or sitting and listening to a speaker at a convention or seminar. You know where The Princess is headed with this, don’t you? (If not, see example below.)
Way back on June 27th riders on the Jitney received copies of The Hamptons Dictionary; the people in charge of the Jitney didn’t think it such a grand thing to be insulted in the book and also have it handed to riders free of charge so they could read the insult. They said “No, thanks very much… ” to future seat drops. As best we know, that is the sum and substance of the insult, really not much of a bad thing in our humble opinion, especially when one considers Mr. Jaffe’s razor-sharp capacity for slicing and dicing those with whom he has an issue. The author is the individual responsible for the website “Nuke the Hamptons,” a virtual place to go and send imaginary missiles at the homes of folks like Martha Stewart. This was back six or eight years ago, and the entire endeavor was fairly amusing as best we recall.
Appropriate phrases we have gleaned from reading about the book? We’ll start with Megacottage, a noun we hope to be self-explanatory. Others include:
- Bay Lice, n., Jet skis
- Hample, Beyond ample; more than more than enough. e.g.: “His and Her Hummers”
- Slaughterhouse, n., A singles bar where the patrons are desperate.
- Million Dollar Smile, n., The expression on a real estate broker’s face at a Hamptons closing.
- Renterror, n., A summer tenant from hell.
Opportunities abound to purchase the book, starting with acquiring it directly from the author, Mr. Jaffe, an author, artist and designer who lives in Bridgehampton. You can also purchase it from the publisher, The Disinformation Company. Of course you can (and should) check with your local independent bookseller, and then there are all of the online megastores. (We are not entirely pooh-poohing them, heaven knows we have purchased enough to finance another wing at the hospital, they can be lifesavers!)
Also today we share an update on one of our AntiPreps, Kim Kardashian, always busy it seems. And in the interest of full disclosure we are more than tardy with this story as it was Breaking News on Ms. Karadashian’s blog last Wednesday, the 2nd. Our apologies for being so slow on this story; evidently we must be more vigilant in tracking Ms. Kardashian.
Ms. Kardashian shares the following on the blog (let us point out the emphasis is entirely Ms. Kardashian’s, not TP’s):
“It has always been a dream of mine to start my own perfume business, since I love to mix fragrances together and come up with new and different scents! I hope you understand my total excitement as I let you, the readers of my blog, become the first to know that I am creating my own fragrance!!!”
One more note on Ms. Kardashian that will really have you questioning the capabilities of our worldwide field of correspondents here at Intergalactic HQ for the Preppy Princess. We can only pray you find it within your generous spirits to give us another chance to prove ourselves. (Not to put to fine a point on it, but this is rather minor royalty.) At any rate, we had no idea she had blown into Monaco to attend their Film Fest last month; shown below with Prince Albert, her Mother and sister Kourtney.
There you have it.